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Subject: FW: Why I fired my secretary

Two weeks ago was my 33rd birthday and I wasn't feeling too good that
morning. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!" and probably have a present for me.

As it turned out, she didn't even say good morning, let alone any happy
birthday. I thought, well, that's a wife for you, my daughter will

The kid came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the
office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent...

As I walked into my office, my secretary Cari said, "Good morning, Boss.
Happy Birthday!" And I felt a little better that someone had remembered.

I worked until noon, then Cari knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's
such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch,
just you and me."

I said, "That's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!" We went to


We didn't go where we normally go; instead we went out to a private little
place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful
day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"

I said, "No, I guess not."

She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, think
I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable"

She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a

huge birthday cake --- followed by my wife, daughter, and dozens of our
friends, all singing Happy Birthday.

And I just sat there ---

on the couch ---

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